I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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