i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
my being single is dangerous.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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