What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Hello my rib-scented angel!
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
