If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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