Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Randomize
