Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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