The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
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