this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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