Betty ford says i'm here all night
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
