yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
