Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
