were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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