I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
