Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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