The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Randomize
