Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
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