you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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