I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Randomize
