There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
someone owes me an orgasm
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Randomize
