Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
