im drinking this country out of the recession.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
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