she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
