i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
