and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
