My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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