Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
