So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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