The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
