hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
