i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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