Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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