NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Randomize
