Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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