you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
