Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
