i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
