i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
