It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
