you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
