So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
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