didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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