dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
