stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
everyone is single if you try hard enough
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
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I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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