hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
