is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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