Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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