dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
