Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Randomize
