He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
