I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Randomize
