i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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