Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Randomize
